Bored. Julie wasn’t home,
so I walk to Justin’s.
That’s hill always sucked the breath from my lungs long before I ever made it to the top.
No knock,
no one answers the door anyway.
All the lights are on,
No one was downstairs.
His bedroom was lit,
TV going.
Turn the corner:
Adrian.
Justin’s working,
but will be home in a few hours.
I could hang out.
Sat down on the futon.
Drinks and video games.
Curfew approaching.
Pager starts buzzing,
it’s home.
Later I’ll apologize and say
I fell asleep.
Except I do start nodding off.
Adrian has never been good company,
thick-skilled Neanderthal full of parlor tricks
which are mildly entertaining
but only the first time.
I’d rather have my drunken darkness
until Justin,
or anybody else,
shows up.
Home is buzzing again.
This time I decide to do a little nod,
relax and stretch out
on Justin’s bed.
Really relax as the heavy warmth descends.
And off I drift…
Adrian is saying something,
but is soon tuned out;
I’m in my own world.
Peace doesn’t last long
before I feel him elbowing my legs.
Annoyed.
I know I’m not taking up THAT much space.
Back to drifting.
He’s saying something,
but I’m going away.
There’s a familiar feeling.
Hands.
Trying to wake me up?
No.
He’s unbuttoning my pants.
I hear him say something
about getting comfortable,
but I’m already in the dark.
The weight of liquor covers me
and I slide into the comfort;
except the weight of Adrian.
My panties are down and he’s already on top of me.
I can’t move,
my arms are full of cement.
He has words, or maybe it’s just mumbled panting.
He’s so heavy,
my breath is already difficult to catch.
He exhales into my lungs, trying to push his tongue into my mouth.
All I can do is turn away.
He touches my vagina, parts my lips.
This cannot be happening.
Adrian presses down,
starts forcing his prick into my vagina.
no, I manage a whisper.
I’ve got to get it out.
I have got to get out of here.
When is Justin coming home?
Why isn’t he here already?
Desperate.
Adrian is fucking me.
Adrian is fucking raping me.
please, I manage to whisper.
stop.
Gathering my strength I start pushing him away.
He pressed down.
This is not happening.
Justin won’t save me.
please make this stop.
with all of my waning might,
I push and slip away.
falling to the floor, I scramble.
pull my panties up,
struggle on my jeans,
leave.
stumble and run the three blocks home.
Apologize for being late.
I’m sorry.
I fell asleep at Justin’s.
and came home as soon as I woke up.
I’m sorry, I say.
Walk up the stairs,
pass out in my own bed.
